Page 193 - The Way to the Top

“I try hard to prove that I can handle things, and that I can run the show
independently, but my boss just doesn’t seem to view me in the right light.

What am I doing wrong? Or is he the problem?”

My instructor looked at me, and asked: “Does he trust you?”

Honestly, if someone had slapped me across the face, I would not have
been more surprised or taken aback. “Trust?” I said. “What does trust have
to do with anything? I come in every day, I get my job done, I do it well. . .
. Where does trust come into this?”

As a young woman trying hard to prove my value to the company, I had
always focused on skills like creativity, initiative, technical expertise in
my function, energy, and, above all, business results. The fact that it was
remotely possible that my boss did not trust me, not as a matter of honesty

or ethics, but rather as a matter of how I could influence the outcome of
situations or solve problems, blew me away. Once I started to examine my
behavior in that context, it really made a difference.

The trust needed was on a personal level, not a business level. The key
to developing such trust in a working relationship is directly tied to how

you interact one-on-one with others. If you maintain a defensive posture,
you immediately raise questions about your self-confidence. This is a
warning bell to anyone trying to believe that you can handle business

issues. My style of challenging my boss was making him uneasy about my
ability to handle complex, multifaceted problems. Even though I knew I
was ready and fully capable of handling these situations, I clearly needed
to work on how I was conveying my capabilities to my boss.

While my instructor’s comment surprised me, I immediately recognized

that, in fact, he was right on the money. I worked on modifying my style to
portray confidence and balance, not challenge and conflict. Within two
years, not only did the board promote me to the position of Treasurer, but
relationships with many of my peers and superiors in executive

management also took a dramatic turn for the better. It was certainly the
most important turning point in my career.