Page 67 - Midas Touch

present some problems as well as advantages. I went for it anyway, and I
went for Saturday Night Live, too. My focus was simply to do a good job
and have fun. I’d definitely give it my best shot.

Agreeing to the show was one thing. What sunk in later was that this was a
live show, without edits. If I was a disaster, I’d be a disaster in front of

millions of people, without a second chance or a safety net. There were
also many sketches to learn and perform, which meant my focus had to be
one hundred percent, plus adrenalin. I was accustomed to delivering my
own material as a public speaker, and The Apprentice is unscripted, so this
was all new territory.

On the Tuesday before the scheduled Saturday night show, I met for an
hour with Lorne Michaels’ team of writers, led by Tina Fey. They asked

questions, pitched concepts and were coming up with sketch ideas. By
Thursday, we were reading through the sketches they had created. I could
see that these people worked quickly and effectively.

They cast me in a variety of skits that included being a keyboard player, a
hippie, a lawyer, a character in The Prince and the Pauper along with
Darrell Hammond, and the spokesman for “Trump’s House of Wings” with
dancing and singing chickens. I wore a bright yellow polyester suit for that

one. But the monologue, which sets the tone, came first, and the criteria
for that is to be funny, like a stand-up comic. Everyone knows that isn’t
easy. What if I’m not funny? Now I’m thinking that I really got myself
into something here. Plus, my focus was also on all those skit lines, a lot
of costume changes, and many different sets and players.

On the Friday before the show, I went out on the set where all the stage
hands and carpenters were busy working, and I said to them, “What am I
doing here? I should be building, like you. I can relate to you guys.” I
really felt like I’d put myself in the trenches, and I’d better have a good
game plan for what was going to happen on Saturday night.

What happens every Saturday is a marathon for everyone involved. We
had rehearsals during the day, and in the early evening we ran through the
show with a live audience of three hundred people, which was considered

the dress rehearsal. It’s also a way to decide which skits will make the cut
and which ones won’t. The skits most popular with the audience always
make the cut. This meant I wouldn’t know which skits would be in the live